If These Shoes Could Talk: Black Elastic Sandals by Delicious

One Enchanted Evening...


Black elastic shoes by Delicious. A recent night in the New York area. 

Right Shoe: Hey… Lefty, looks like we’re going out!

Left Shoe: Oh great… hmmm black spandex mini and loose, multicolored tank top… we must be going somewhere cool.

RS: I heard her say something about meeting her friend at someplace called Bunny Chow. Wherever it is, it’s got to be better than hanging around this room with all the other shoes.

LS: Dammit, she’s running late again. Hey! Lady! Ease up… you’re going to wear out my lifts! Whew! It’s hot out here!

RS: Quit complaining!

About an hour later…

RS: See, we’re here! Oooh is that South African music? I wanna dance!

LS: She does know we weren’t made for those high kicks and stuff, right? Wait… I think I just heard her order a drink… a bartender’s special… and Peri Peri wings. And another drink? SMH.

RS: Hush! I think this is going to be a fun night!

LS: She’d better go easy. I don’t stagger.

RS: Neither does she! 

Two hours and five drinks later…

RS: See… we’re leaving, and she’s neither slurring her speech nor staggering. We’ll be home in no time. Although, I wish she’d find something else fun to do. I just KNEW she’d brought her magic out tonight. Guess not.

LS: Wait, why is she getting off at this stop? That means more walking between one train and the other. I’m tired. I’m about to pinch her pinky toe.

RS: Don’t you dare! It feels awesome out here. Besides, what if she stumbles upon something fun or interesting to do??? Wait, did that tall guy just ask her about her hair? I guess that’s not the worst starting line I’ve heard…

LS: Yeah, yeah. I guess that’s better than “Yo, ma, damn you’re sexy! Can I walk with you?” I’m not sold, though. Well… he does sound pretty intelligent. A second B.A.? OK, he’s starting to earn a few points in my book. Chicago native? Her stepmom’s family is from there (awww… step in the name of love). A fellow HBCU alum… I dig that, too. Hmm… maybe it’s not so bad that she took the long way home, after all.

RS: Gasp!!! Did he just say he’ll be 25 in a few days. Dayum! Rock-a-bye, baby! Wait, did she just offer to walk him somewhere a block away? Lefty, I know I’m normally the optimistic one, but when did we start date-shopping at Toys R Us?

LS: Ummm… did you NOT hear him say he’d like to take her to a botanical garden or art gallery on a first date (if she’ll agree to a first date)??? That’s so much better than Mr. “I’d rather the woman choose the location so I don’t screw up” she’s supposed to see this weekend. I’m willing to dump my grump for a bit to see what this one’s deal is.

RS: Their convo is going quite well… OK… he offered her a drink. Wait… this spot’s about to close and neither of them is ready for the night to end. I almost forgot he’s a baby. Hold the phone… he just said his mom never had the man she deserves, and he wants to be that man for whichever woman he ends up with. Swoon. Faint. Bat lashes.

LS: More walking? OK, he might be wearing out his welcome. That guard just said this other place is closed. Maybe we can go home now. Oh no… they decided to wander until they come across something interesting. This could be a long night. Righty, are you sure we’re up for this?

RS: YES! Oooooh they’re going into a hookah lounge! Peppermint tobacco? Intersting. He’s got a good sense of humor. She’s smiling.  Did I just hear a giggle? No… I won’t gag. I won’t!

A hookah and a drink later

LS: Wait… they’re going somewhere ELSE??? This is the longest night we’ve seen in a while. Have these people ever heard of a taxi? I get the whole “walking arm in arm, looking in shop windows, admiring the Union Square area” thing, but sheesh!

RS: Knock it off. I’m loving this! She’s got her mojo working. I feel the tingles radiating from her toes. They’re talking about everything! Seems this kid can hold his own in a grown folks conversation. Uh oh… the place he just tried to take her just closed. Guess she’ll have to try that ginger thingie he mentioned another time… (Maybe that’ll be their second date).

LS: Damnit! That means more walking. Did she just say Coffee Shop? From HOUSTON? That’s it… I’m about to let the padding under the ball of her foot slack a little or something.
RS: You’d better not! Listen… He’s telling her his dreams… They’re almost the same as hers. Oooh, and he knows a little New York trivia. She’s impressed.

At Coffee Shop. Finally.

RS: He just said he doesn’t eat pork. Yay! She just might kiss him one day. Lol, she’s telling him how her grandmother used to tell her not to date guys who eat pork because when she kisses them, she might as well be eating a pork chop or piece of ham. Wait, Lefty, did he really just say he wants to start a foundation to help kids? That’s it… “Come live with me and be my love…”

LS: Yup. He said it. I think this one’s a winner. Darn… Did she say her phone is dead. I bet this is the last stop for her. She’s getting eaten up by these mosquitoes too. Is it me or is the sky getting lighter?

A meal and sunrise later…

RS: I’m sad this mini date has to end… this is better than most of the real dates she’s been on lately.

LS: Relax. It’s not like she’ll never see him again. He’s walking her to the train. Let’s just enjoy these last few minutes. Cool… he has her number. He’ll call.

RS: Aww… the train’s coming. Time to go. How cute. She stopped to kiss him on the cheek… she wanted to give him a peck on the lips, but she didn’t want to seem like THAT girl. Now, let’s hope he calls.